Monday, January 14, 2008

Car sick

I once wrote a strange song it went like this:
I'm in a really weird mood
I'm in a really weird mood
Too much Coffee in June
I'm in a really weird mood
Ooo Baby, The rain's going Shhhhhhhhhh
You should listen to her
Ooo Baby, The rain's going Shhhhhhhhhh
You should listen to her

Well, the Chorus doesn't really have anything to do with anything.
The first part was written after I filtered coffee 4 times over in Brazil in an attempt to remain awake and studying. The result was a restless night of kind-of studying which ended in a morning ordeal where I disciplined the family dog for peeing on my backpack and the mother of the house scolded me harshly. That's another story though.
It's about coffee, the song, and I may never be able to enjoy it again after yesterday's experience.

I'll give it to you like a bad car exhaust; in spurts. Here we go:
Native Taiwanese mountain museum. Natives dance to westernized music. I'm disgusted.
I think about how native populations seem to get the short end of the stick, everywhere. The show ends. They come out with products for sale. Capitalism. Not their fault. People must survive first, and do so happier second. Not the other way around. My ethics our a luxury born of money. Its all over. We get coffee. Terrible mistake. I drink the coffee. Our stoic Taiwanese police officer driver takes us back out to see other things. I feel sick. And miles to go before I don't. And miles to go before I don't. We stop at an overlook. Then back down the mountain. Nausea. Then up another mountain. Winding Roads. Nausea. Deep Breaths. See pottery. Feel better. Back in the car. Feel worse. And miles to go before.... 2x. We go back down the mountain. We go up another winding mountain. The birthplace of Taiwanese baseball. Of all baseball? Rainy. Back down the mountain. Whew, its gotta be over. Nope! Up another winding mountain. Empty stomach Coffee bad mistake. Ok. We're down now. It ended. Smooth ground. Better right? No. He's a fast, aggressive driver. Acceleration. Pass slow car. Acceleration. Halting stop. Acceleration. And miles to go... Finally to dinner. Soak up Caffeine. Rice. Rice. Rice. A Taiwanese FBI man is pressuring me continuously to drink beer. I want none of it. He wants me to want it. I do not. I turn him down. Byow (I don't want). Byow. Byow. Byow. Byow. I will not take part in your assertion of masculinity. My beard already does that. Byow. Byow. Byow. Dinner ends.
Teatime. NOOOOOOO. More caffeine. I decline again. Byow. Byow. I feel good. We get to the place we're staying. I sleep. Before I go to sleep I think of caffeine; my head hurts. Curses. Goodnight.

So in conclusion, coffee is great, but might not be great for me anymore. I hope everyone enjoys their coffee. Moral of the story (If you say it like a guy with a nerdy, Jewish, New york accent [guy from Family guy or Woody Allen] its a lot funnier) Say it with me now:
Empty stomach, Coffee and mountain roads are a terrible, terrible idea.

I would last like to make a note about dogs here in Taiwan.
Today we counted: 19 dogs barked at us as we passed.
These dogs have owners and must be trained to bark at men with lumpy hunch-backs. We must look like strange creatures. The stray dogs, however, never give us trouble. Its interesting seeing stray dogs, since we have none in America. The dogs enter buildings and are not escorted out. I think it's really funny to see a stray dog enter through an automatic sliding door and for there to be no repercussions. The stray dogs are just as cute as other dogs and yet people scoff at them. Probably because their dirty. But they don't have to be dirty... Anyway, if they're around when you're eating they give you the puppy dog eyes and you feel sorry for them and give them some food. They're, in my opinion, cooler than many of the man-owned dogs here. Man I'm tired...sorry if that passage wasn't up to par. I guess I need some Coffee.

The last two days, where we stayed with Jeff's Uncle, have been much more structured an un-enjoyable. I like it when we do things like we did today where we see another road leading off the side of the road we're on, and one says, "Hey you wanna go down that way." And the other says "Okay." And we do. And even if it ends up like it did today where we had to walk through sand, by some train tracks and then hike up through some brush, its still worth it. Its nice to be on foot going wherever you please. I saw a police prison van go by. I felt grateful for my freedom. We all should. If you were raised somewhere else, someway else, it might have been much tougher for you to be read this post, as you have other things to worry about. Same with me and writing this post. SO we're all pretty damn lucky. I digressed. Walking:
Do it. Try it. It's great. You see more. You feel more. And you don't have to worry about getting carsick.

Today's famous doctor: Doc from Snow White

Today's item: I actually wrote two posts today. So I'm not being completely straight forward with you so sorry in advance. Here's a segment from a book I'm reading called Breakfast of Champions, by Kurt Vonnegut which is hilarious and fantastic. I strongly recommend it.

"That was the main reason the people in Midland City were so slow to detect insanity in their associates. Their imaginations insisted that nobody changed much from day to day. Their imaginations were flywheels on the ramshackle machinery of the awful truth."

I enjoyed this paragraph and if you did too or are curious, please, buy this book. Tell em Steve sent ya. That way I get a commission. Good day to all!

Oh yeah, We couldn't upload pictures, so I found these Wombat pictures to put up instead. Hope you enjoyed them!

Finally, Seriously. I was just typing and then Jeff said, "whoa, that woulda been bad." I looked over and his email account was open and he was writing the first line of an email. This is what it said:
Dear professor Bonner,


Danny said...

"Boy, honey, this is the most delicious coffee! What did you put in it to make it taste so good?"

"Bilgewater and mud."

Danny said...

Zebbing mick, Duel! Tornish brangtil fron chippit weed. Hang chorn delaylee taminah!


Rachel said...

i can't beat a danny post. i just wanted to say hi and that i'd been weeding.